Antidepressants

I am sooooo sick and tired of taking antidepressants! I just want to be me again...I started taking Prestiq in may 2010 and it was awesome! Six months later it started to ware off....then the dr put me on a combination of Buspar and Prestiq....I took that for a month and it was seriously one of the worst months of my life...so on to drug...Wellbutrin...not even kinda cool! I feel so bad! Panic, dizziness, nausea, rapid heart rate, blurred vision, massive headache, and i have NO patience with my kids....so I called my dr yesterday CRYING and told her something was wrong...So she put me on 150 mg of Wellbutrin instead of 300...and wants to mix it with Celexa! NO WAY! No more mixing and playing with my brain! Im DONE! I want to start all over again...so Im going to suggest we wean me off everything all together...this is just ridiculous! I dont feel like Raydean anymore and I know my family is suffering because of it! WHO AM I?? I really dont have any real reason to be depressed! Its time for me to pull my head out of my HINEY and try life on my own..Kevin and I talked about this and both feel that If I can concur depression with out any crazy drugs then life for all of us will be better...I let him know that if I cant do this alone then I will go back to the antidepressants, but for now NO MORE ZOMBIE MOM! Im sick of being scared of the side effects of these drugs...seizures, suicide, WEIGHT GAIN! Come on! I just lost 35 pounds and Im not about to let it all come back! Its time to take control of MY life and MY brain! Boy it feels good to vent...what will i do to help myself??

• EXERCISE at least 5 times a week...Zumba is my favorite! and the best thing is i already exercise 3 times a week:)


• Scripture study...i know that i cant get through this alone.


• Motivation...thats a hard one...i hope i can gain that on my own somehow..maybe a combo of exercise and scriptures..


• MY FAMILY...I need to be there for them...plain and simple.

Think happy thoughts....for example..I have an awesome family and I really dont have much of a reason to be so miserable!

I cant and Will do this...Ill post my progress in the next few months....

pictures and news and stuff

I love this picture of them kissing!

This picture of Kathryn is BEFORE the hair dye

disaster...pictures comming soon!

Marker face Kathryn...I really do watch my kids!

Kambree's paintings! I LOVE THEM...I saved them both...Kevin

thinks im weird for keeping the kids art...Oh well!

Pretty Profile of Kambree...I heart her!

soooo i thought i would add some pictures of the kids and maybe give a little update on life...well it has snowed for about a week and ITS FREEZING!!! yup i cant go out side with out shoes anymore:( Kambree and Kathryn LOVE LOVE the snow and they both think it tastes great! silly girls...I enjoy shoveling snow in the mornings...its a great work out too! Kevin is almost finished with the Diesel program!! He has been applying for jobs like crazy! Some are in Alaska and Illinois! Im not to happy about moving even further from our family and friends but we have to start somewhere and im not sure if Las Vegas or even St George is going to provide a job that will support us. Not now anyway...we will see...Thomas is coming to see us for Turkey day and Im super happy! he only gets to stay for a few days but its going to be worth it! CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM!

wedding photos

Over the last few weeks I have had the opertunity to practice my photo taking skills! Here are just a few of the shoot I did with my friend Charity! Hope yall like em!

The one above is my FAVE!

We had so much fun this day and I really love

silly pictures! P.S. i did her hair too!!

SHE'S TWO!!

My little Kathryn Elley is finally TWO! I cant believe
how time flies! She went from being my sweet BIG
9lb baby to a very loving 25lb two year old!


I love her smile and how she will just run up to
me while Im cleaning and just hug my legs.
She says "I wud ooo" that means I love you:)


This is a picture of her sitting on the toilet.
I think it might be time to potty train...
Kathryn is so different from her sister...
She likes to play alone when around other kids,
while Kambree is my little social butterfly.
Kathryn has the BEST manners I have ever seen
in a two year old. Please and thank you are often some
of her favorite words. She cleans up her toys when asked
and likes things to be organized. She will organize her
dinosaurs in one line and then her ducks in another.
I really truly am so blessed to have such a loving kind
hearted little girl and I hope she grows up to be a strong
independent woman....I LOVE YOU KACKEY!

I thought I should....

ADD MORE PICTURES!!!! This is Kambree and I cooking Kevins birthday cake....

Kathryn is sooooooo hard to take pictures of....Kambree is so much

easier, she LOVES pictures!

As you can see! Kambree will pose for for me..

Daddy and his girls! he LOVES them and they are Nuts
about him too!

We tried to take a family picture but it sooooooo didnt work!
Kathryn is eating her hand and in all of the others she is trying to

pull out Kambree's hair or eat her bracelets...can you see her cast

on her left arm??

fight

sometimes i just let my girls fight...yup...they fight sooooo much i get tired of it!!...im surprised kathryn hasn't hit kambree with her cast yet(still need to post pictures)...kathryn says sorry to kambree after she hits her and then she kisses her owies....when i turn my head she's at it again! GRRRRRRR! sorry i just needed to vent:)

Fracture

Sunday about three hours before Kevin and I were to speak in Church, all four of us were rough housing on our bed....well my bed is HUGE! So lets just say if any little children were to fall off it would be a long and painful fall....well such thing happened this last Sunday....yup..my poor baby Kathryn stood up on the bed and FELL OFF! I tried to catch her buuuut I was too late...She fell flat on her tummy with her left arm under her...I quickly picked her up and loved on her while she cried...I have never heard her cry like this in the last two years of her life so I was somewhat concerned...Kevin and I checked her out and came to the conclusion that she would be fine, so we went to church and spoke in Sacrament meeting(which was one of the BEST experiences of my life)..Kathryn was grouchy most of the day but we thought it was because she had been sick so Kevin took her home early...The next day I took her over to my friend Karen's house to play and we both noticed she was not using that arm and cradling it...sooooooo to make a long story short, I picked up Kambree from school at three and took Kathryn to the ER...They did x-rays and said her elbow is probably fractured but its hard to see in a two year old because their bones are still so soft and because its her elbow...but all things are pointing to a fractured bone...swelling, bruising and pain...We went to see an Orthopedic Dr. yesterday and he agrees with what the Dr. in the ER told us...My little Kathryn now has a very pretty purple cast on her left arm and we are taking her back in two weeks for a check up...i will post pictures soon! LOVES TO ALL!