Antidepressants

I am sooooo sick and tired of taking antidepressants! I just want to be me again...I started taking Prestiq in may 2010 and it was awesome! Six months later it started to ware off....then the dr put me on a combination of Buspar and Prestiq....I took that for a month and it was seriously one of the worst months of my life...so on to drug...Wellbutrin...not even kinda cool! I feel so bad! Panic, dizziness, nausea, rapid heart rate, blurred vision, massive headache, and i have NO patience with my kids....so I called my dr yesterday CRYING and told her something was wrong...So she put me on 150 mg of Wellbutrin instead of 300...and wants to mix it with Celexa! NO WAY! No more mixing and playing with my brain! Im DONE! I want to start all over again...so Im going to suggest we wean me off everything all together...this is just ridiculous! I dont feel like Raydean anymore and I know my family is suffering because of it! WHO AM I?? I really dont have any real reason to be depressed! Its time for me to pull my head out of my HINEY and try life on my own..Kevin and I talked about this and both feel that If I can concur depression with out any crazy drugs then life for all of us will be better...I let him know that if I cant do this alone then I will go back to the antidepressants, but for now NO MORE ZOMBIE MOM! Im sick of being scared of the side effects of these drugs...seizures, suicide, WEIGHT GAIN! Come on! I just lost 35 pounds and Im not about to let it all come back! Its time to take control of MY life and MY brain! Boy it feels good to vent...what will i do to help myself??

• EXERCISE at least 5 times a week...Zumba is my favorite! and the best thing is i already exercise 3 times a week:)


• Scripture study...i know that i cant get through this alone.


• Motivation...thats a hard one...i hope i can gain that on my own somehow..maybe a combo of exercise and scriptures..


• MY FAMILY...I need to be there for them...plain and simple.

Think happy thoughts....for example..I have an awesome family and I really dont have much of a reason to be so miserable!

I cant and Will do this...Ill post my progress in the next few months....

pictures and news and stuff

I love this picture of them kissing!

This picture of Kathryn is BEFORE the hair dye

disaster...pictures comming soon!

Marker face Kathryn...I really do watch my kids!

Kambree's paintings! I LOVE THEM...I saved them both...Kevin

thinks im weird for keeping the kids art...Oh well!

Pretty Profile of Kambree...I heart her!

soooo i thought i would add some pictures of the kids and maybe give a little update on life...well it has snowed for about a week and ITS FREEZING!!! yup i cant go out side with out shoes anymore:( Kambree and Kathryn LOVE LOVE the snow and they both think it tastes great! silly girls...I enjoy shoveling snow in the mornings...its a great work out too! Kevin is almost finished with the Diesel program!! He has been applying for jobs like crazy! Some are in Alaska and Illinois! Im not to happy about moving even further from our family and friends but we have to start somewhere and im not sure if Las Vegas or even St George is going to provide a job that will support us. Not now anyway...we will see...Thomas is coming to see us for Turkey day and Im super happy! he only gets to stay for a few days but its going to be worth it! CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM!